Finally, I'm in a good place. Or close to getting there.

March 14, 2019

 

 

I know it's quite late for a "new year, new me" post, but I feel like there's a new Katherine this 2019. I don't know if it's because my husband is already home for good, I'm just getting better at dealing with life, or I've just stopped giving a sh*t about some things that used to bother me. 

 

This series of fortunate events started when I got a promotion last December. Oh yeah, you read that right. I got promoted! I really wasn't expecting that but I was--and still am--super thankful for that opportunity. 

 

And like I said, my husband is already home for good. When he was away, I felt that we were "losing" a year because it was our first year of being husband and wife, and yet we were apart. But now, we're finally together, and since he got home, we've been learning a lot of things about each other and adjusting to each other's quirks.

 

For example, I don't like it when there are water droplets on the bathroom floor (from your hands when you brush your teeth or wash your face), so when I see a droplet or small puddle, I mop it right away. What can I say? I don't like wet, muddy bathroom floor! 

 

I also put dirty clothes in our hamper inside out. Same with pillowcases and fitted sheets. Even socks. These are my "rules." He also has rules, like no outside clothes on the bed (because ewwww, right?). Also, he doesn't like it when I put my handbag on the bed. That makes sense, because just like dirty clothes, that handbag has been everywhere, and we don't want to sleep together with invisible dirt from all over the city. 

 

I'm also doing great in the mental health department. My episodes have been significantly reduced ever since I started working remotely. Without the daily commute, which can zap all that's left of your sanity and energy, I have one less major trigger to deal with every day. 

 

My husband's presence is also a big help. He is my number one source of comfort, and since our LDR phase is over, my heart is already at peace. We talk in person instead of on FB messenger, and we give each other actual hugs and kisses instead of emojis and GIFs. 

 

I still have my down days, too. I even have short depressive episodes, but they're no longer as bad as before. Negative thoughts still haunt me once in a while, but like I told Dr. G when I went to see her three weeks ago, I guess these negative thoughts won't really be gone. Maybe I'm just getting better at dealing with them. 

 

I'm still taking my anti-depressant every night. It's a big, big help in keeping me stable and in keeping my mind clear. Sooner or later, we'll have my meds out of the picture, but I don't see it happening in the next few months. To be honest, I know I need it, or else I'll get overwhelmed with juggling household chores, my job, and dealing with life. This sounds pretty basic, but for me, this is a challenge. And when I get overwhelmed, I break down and I stop being functional. 

 

Overall, I can say I'm in a good place, or close to getting there. I like where I am right now, and I hope things continue to be great for me in the months to come. 

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