I am married, but I'll be spending Valentine's alone

February 7, 2018

 

It's funny how the universe works sometimes. PM and I have been waiting for us to be a married couple before we finally live together and go home to each other every night. But two weeks after we got married, he had to leave for a faculty exchange program abroad. We didn't get the chance to live and stay with each other before he left. It's ironic that when we finally got married, that was when we had to be apart. 

 

I can't find the words to express the intense loneliness that I feel. Every night, I sleep alone on my bed, when I know fully well that I should be sleeping next to my husband. Every day is torture, and it is just as difficult for him, too. We miss each other so much, but I just can't up and leave and go on a week-long vacation. I have a job here. And he can't do the same because he has a job there, too. 

 

Now that Valentine's Day is fast approaching, the more I feel lonely. For me, Valentine's is really a special day. Even if you don't have a significant other to share it with, you can spend it with your family and friends. But here's the thing: I HAVE a significant other. He is my husband. But I can't spend it with him because he's away. 

 

We have our own, simple way of celebrating Valentine's, and in the past two years, we have done just that. This year's Valentine's Day would've been extra special, even if celebrated in a simple way, because this would be our first Valentine's Day as a married couple. But again, he's not here. 

 

I am thinking of going to one of our favorite restaurants and going on Facebook video chat with him while having dinner. But on second thought, I'd rather not do it. I don't think I can bear being surrounded by happy couples or happy groups celebrating Valentine's Day while I sit on a corner, having a virtual date with my husband. I'd probably just end up crying. 

 

So what will I do on Feb. 14? I'll just go home after work and chat with him on Facebook (not video chat because the internet connection isn't so good at his place). I'll tell him over and over again how much I miss him and how I wish we're together. And how I wish the days would go by quickly, so we wouldn't have to wait for so long before we can be with each other again. 

 

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